There is much debate right now over the question of is homosexuality a choice. As someone who has recently decided to become bisexual after spending more than a decade as a homosexual I believe the answer is yes homosexuality is a choice... depending on what you mean by choice. This does not mean that I believe that someone wakes up one day and says "I think I am going to be gay from now on.". As for myself when I was in my early teens I was really tormented by this question. I frankly did not want to be homosexual, not because it was what I wanted, but rather because of the pressure to conform to society. This really caused me to do a lot of soul searching and to really question why I liked guys so much. I think in large part because of how young I was at the time I was able to trace back the thought patterns which caused my homosexual tendencies. After understanding the roots of what made me gay I began to ask myself why should I change? After looking around at the girls I knew and in my school I said "to hell with that." and stuck with guys. Recently however I have decided to change my sexual orientation because I found a very impressive woman who I think will be a great mother to my kids.
The genetic arguments
We hear a lot about how there is all this genetic evidence out there that we are born gay or straight. The problem is that once you begin to look at the actual studies which have been done you find out that its nothing but a bunch of psudeo-science. Take for example twin studies on sexuality, if someone is born gay then both identical twins should be homosexual right? But according to these studies we must assume that one twin (the one which identifies as heterosexual) is a liar. If someone is born gay and one twin is gay what other conclusion is possible? Further what about ex-gays? There are a growing number of ex-gays out there, and while I do believe that some of these people have become ex-gays in order to comply with society is it reasonable to believe that all of them are trying to comply with society?
No the reality of it is that we are all born bisexual. Society and culture especially in the west has however fought a malicious war on same-sex sex. This then leads to all kinds of social problems as societies attempt to not to modify nature but to defy it. How many young men each year are forced into homosexuality because they believe the lie that one must either be gay or straight? How many lives are ruined each year because men and women who chose to "fight their nature" and be straight rather than gay find themselves ten or fifteen years into a marriage with two kids and break up the family because now they "just cant fight it anymore". There is even great pressure from the homosexual community to deny sexual choice because they are afraid it will invalidate them, thus a fourteen year old boy who wonders what his classmates look like begins to think he might be gay and is forced into homosexuality.
I wonder how many homosexuals have really stopped and thought about how insulting born gay is not only to themselves but to their loved one. "Honey I don't really love you my genes just make me horny for you."... The greatest problem with accepting that homosexuality is genetic is that it assumes that the Christians are right, that homosexuality is in fact some kind of deformity. The difference is that its a "The devil made me do it" argument dressed up as science. But why should we assume the Christians are right? Why do I or anyone need any kind of justification for enjoying sex with someone of the same gender?
There comes a larger problem however and that is the complete denial of the two aspects of sex. Sex in human society serves two functions, and the puritans have done a marvelous job at destroying the second aspect. One aspect (not the first) is that of procreation. Another aspect to sex however is recreational. There is buried deep into the psyche of modern society this evil and malicious idea that sex should only be for procreative purposes. While it is true that not everyone believes this, can it be denied that a large number of people still believe it? Look at how people still feel about masturbation, its dirty and should be kept in the dark. Sex however is a social glue, why should I not want to bring pleasure to a friend, and why should I not want them to bring me pleasure? If the sex is meant to be recreational should gender really matter? If so why? Sex for recreation is all about feeling good and making the other person feel good, so practical difference does it make if it is a guy or a girl?
Where sexuality matters is that just like hundreds of other concepts we ingest from birth (such as politics, religion, etc.) we are brainwashed into believing that it is dirty or wrong to enjoy sexual things with someone of the same sex. We then start looking for justifications to continue something we enjoy. After all if I don't have a choice then what can I do about it. Instead say "I like this person and I want to show them how much I care for and appreciate them regardless of gender." Understand that having sex to have babies is not the only reason to have sex. Know that when you have sex with someone you are showing them in the greatest possible way how much they mean to you. And finally remember that gender exclusion is a fetish, and like all fetishes it is neither good nor bad.
